UPDATE

So I also married Arjun to the railing. I also married Faraz to a post of some sort. Again, necessary paperwork was unavailable, but if the post and the railing are up for it, I know Arjun and Faraz are as well.

Did I marry anybody else to anyone/thing last night?

It is necessary to point out

Two bottles of whiskey is too many.
After headbutting the wall, and then headbutting the gutter, which was a 5 foot deep gutter may I add, it has come to my attention that I should not have that much whiskey. Ever.
Thank you to everybody who pulled me out of that ditch. I appreciate it.

On the other hand, as an ordained minister, I married Pat to Diana last night. Unfortunately, necessary paperwork was not present, but if they're up for it that will be taken care of. Happiness to them for however long I can convince them that they are legally married for.

The absolute epitome of my productivity is taking a shit and lacing my boots up at the same time. It doesn't get more productive than that. Not on a Friday, at least.
Word.

headwear

Wearing a sombrero for 6 hours straight in a single day gave me an entirely new perspective on the way people normally look at me.
Now I really know when people are giving me dirty looks as opposed to quizzical glances or just passing by. Wearing a completely out of place hat in somewhat out of place weather really showed me what loathsome looks one can receive from people. It is fantastic that most people aren't actors if they can show emotion so clearly on their facial expressions.

Happenings, still.

Recently there has been a strange rise in the amount of times per day I get yelled at by strangers.

I was trying to buy a pack of cigarettes at a 76 station, and the clerk looks at me and screams,
"What the fuck kind of wallet is that?"
"It's a cheeseburger."
"What the fuck kind of cheeseburger is that?"

Among other people yelling at me, like the fellow who followed me down the street from Paul and Eddies.
This is ridiculous.

Important Information

I am now an ordained minister. I am serious.
After my credentials arrive, and I register with the county clerk, I can legally marry and perform funerals.

I will marry you to anything or anyone. Is that chair looking good? Done. You guys are married on my watch. I don't care if it's a male or female chair either, I'm fine with that.

I'll post a copy of my credentials once I receive them in the mail. I would also appreciate being referred to as Minister Matt.

It's strange how different the same place becomes across the counter. Years of sitting at the benches and getting coffee made for me all seem very different now.

It's pretty cool.



Not related; I am bored late at night.

So I take pictures of my feet.