UPDATE

So I also married Arjun to the railing. I also married Faraz to a post of some sort. Again, necessary paperwork was unavailable, but if the post and the railing are up for it, I know Arjun and Faraz are as well.

Did I marry anybody else to anyone/thing last night?

It is necessary to point out

Two bottles of whiskey is too many.
After headbutting the wall, and then headbutting the gutter, which was a 5 foot deep gutter may I add, it has come to my attention that I should not have that much whiskey. Ever.
Thank you to everybody who pulled me out of that ditch. I appreciate it.

On the other hand, as an ordained minister, I married Pat to Diana last night. Unfortunately, necessary paperwork was not present, but if they're up for it that will be taken care of. Happiness to them for however long I can convince them that they are legally married for.

The absolute epitome of my productivity is taking a shit and lacing my boots up at the same time. It doesn't get more productive than that. Not on a Friday, at least.
Word.

headwear

Wearing a sombrero for 6 hours straight in a single day gave me an entirely new perspective on the way people normally look at me.
Now I really know when people are giving me dirty looks as opposed to quizzical glances or just passing by. Wearing a completely out of place hat in somewhat out of place weather really showed me what loathsome looks one can receive from people. It is fantastic that most people aren't actors if they can show emotion so clearly on their facial expressions.

Happenings, still.

Recently there has been a strange rise in the amount of times per day I get yelled at by strangers.

I was trying to buy a pack of cigarettes at a 76 station, and the clerk looks at me and screams,
"What the fuck kind of wallet is that?"
"It's a cheeseburger."
"What the fuck kind of cheeseburger is that?"

Among other people yelling at me, like the fellow who followed me down the street from Paul and Eddies.
This is ridiculous.

Important Information

I am now an ordained minister. I am serious.
After my credentials arrive, and I register with the county clerk, I can legally marry and perform funerals.

I will marry you to anything or anyone. Is that chair looking good? Done. You guys are married on my watch. I don't care if it's a male or female chair either, I'm fine with that.

I'll post a copy of my credentials once I receive them in the mail. I would also appreciate being referred to as Minister Matt.

It's strange how different the same place becomes across the counter. Years of sitting at the benches and getting coffee made for me all seem very different now.

It's pretty cool.



Not related; I am bored late at night.

So I take pictures of my feet.

Happenings.

Sitting on the bench by myself, this crazy lady now knows that;
I don't like airplanes.
I have ice-skated in both San Jose and Tahoe, but not with a girlfriend.
My favorite coffee is Society Blend.
I don't have any coffee shop experience.
I am just fine with taking out the trash.

That was the highlight of my day. Talking to a crazy lady on the bench and playing 20 fucking questions.


Really though, I am officially employed again and today was the first day of work. That was the highlight of my day.

Related; the front door of work before it was really work and just a place to sit.

Interprrreeettt

I had the strangest dream last night.
I was in a place closely resembling paradise - and I was swimming. I somehow fell asleep, or was knocked unconscious and swept out to sea.
I awoke in an unfamiliar area, by myself, in the dark. I remember screaming for help and feeling absolutely, hopelessly lost. I spent hours sitting and thinking of what to do, realizing that I had no idea where I was and nobody would come find me. I remember being convinced that I was going to die.

Then, I got up, turned the corner, and was home.

There are two things that confuse me.
One: The return to normality was as simple as walking around the corner yet it never occurred to me to leave.
Two: I was that close, yet why didn't anybody answer my calls for help?


Still loosely related; paradise and pleasant things.

Reorganization

Reorganizing one's desk and one's habits seem to be very similar.
At first it seems like everything is comfortable exactly where it is, but for whatever reason you move shit around.
It's pretty fucking uncomfortable at first and you can't find where you left that damn pen, or friend, or whatever thing you may have misplaced.

Then you start to remember where you left things, and why they are where they are.


Loosely related; this is my desk.

Directly beneath me must be a very flattering angle, because the floor wouldn't stop coming on to me. Wouldn't leave me alone.

Fucker must have been drunk.

Accept the fact that you are a fish.

Attempts

So far, I've applied to Rasputin, Dana Street Coffee, Coffee Society, Bookbuyers, and Recycled books.

So far, not much luck.

Yo. Yo.

This is bullshit.
Neither Target nor Toys R Us have the type of Yo-Yo I was looking for. I just want a ball-bearing Yo-Yo without flashy lights, is that really so much to ask?

Toys used to be so simple and entertaining. Now its about movement, expensive replacement parts, flashy lights, and what can kick you in the face harder.



Like this life size storm trooper toy. Look at its small, expensive parts and face kicking action.


(not one of my pictures, by the way.)

Education crisis

What I really don't understand, with the state deficit affecting school systems, and classes all over California being impacted;
Why the fuck are there elderly people in my classes?
I'm not talking about middle aged people trying to better themselves, I'm talking about straight up old people. Retired old people. Retired old people that are taking class spots away from people trying to transfer.

It's a well known fact that classes in community colleges, UCs, and CSUs are completely fucked right now. The fact that people that have no intention of transferring to a four year university from community college are given priority over those who are doesn't sit quite right with me.
If the state cannot solve the deficit and lack of funding set towards education, then priority should be given to those of age and in need of an education, not those that are of old age and in need of something to do in retirement.

I'm not saying ban them from taking classes, that would be absurd. It just seems that people trying to add classes cannot, or are wait-listed, after people that don't need the class for transferable credit. I just don't think they should be given priority in any which way, and given class spots based on availability after other students.

read

I lost my job today.
If anybody knows of any place they think I'd be interested in in Cupertino/San Jose/Mountain View area that is hiring, please let me know.

Oh, but some old guy screamed "faggot" at me and flipped me off from the street today, so that was awesome. It's all about the small pleasantries.

The bobblehead nods with every thump to let me know I'm fucked. Damn you, dashboard Darth Vader.




On a somewhat related note, some interesting statements of the day:
"...on auto-pilot for misery."
"I try to be a good person with varying degrees of success."

Why they were said is a completely different story.

A little bit of absolutely nothing.

I cut my hair when I don't have anything to do.
I took a substantial chunk out of the back that is completely bald now.
Oops.