Tuesday, August 31, 2010

More adventurous.

While the last few weeks have consisted of roaming all throughout San Francisco and generally acquainting myself with the city, while looking for work. The next few days, however, have in store a little more (forced) relaxation.

Muni buses crashing into each other, the incredible smell of shit and fish in Chinatown, random weird shit in Japantown, and sitting in parks in North Beach. This place is really wonderful. Living elsewhere, it seems to be a matter of "What am I going to do today?" Whereas here, every day, exit door; pick a direction; go.

I end up with random people, doing absolutely random shit, while still having enough time to do nothing at all, really.

However, I have been rendered fairly incapable of movement. Circumstances led to climbing of a ladder, and other circumstances led to slipping off of said ladder, tumbling down the height of about a story, and then tumbling backwards down a flight of stairs.
My glasses seemed to have more luck than I did, as they fell down five stories and managed to come out unscathed. I had less luck, my left leg is fucked. Sheit.

It was funny at the time, but holy fuck it hurts now. Less ladders for me.

This was found on one of said adventurings.

SPANK!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The first time

I found myself in a strange situation today.

I am fucking broke - really broke. I have 5 dollars and 50 cents in my checking account, and somewhere in the neighborhood of 67 cents in my pocket.
That's not the problem, though.

I had a job interview in the Financial District earlier today, and only had enough money to get there on the train, and not back.

I was walking around the entire area, looking for change on the ground, as I don't think I look indecent enough to beg people for change on the street.

I wouldn't want to, really.

The point is, I have never seen ground so destitute of pennies, nickles, and dimes.
There was nothing.

Vultures about.

I had to hop the emergency gate to get on the train home.

Monday, August 16, 2010

and again.

This time, I bribed a guard with a cigarette, ran through an open clearing as fast as I could, hopped one fence, ran down through the woods, fucked up both of my hands, hopped another fence, and slipped through a crack in the gate behind an incredibly smelly set of port-o-potties.

All to arrive, just as the concert was ending.

At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I broke into outside lands twice, successfully, and god damnit next year I will be there the entire time, for free.

I swear.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Breaking and Entering

This year, there were three fences surrounding the perimeter.

The first fence that I slipped under, I was greeted by a guard. That fence happened to lead to backstage.

"Don't make me chase you."
Alright, alright.

I was escorted out, and wandered further around the perimeter.

We found another way in, under another fence. After hiding in the bushes for a solid twenty minutes, we finally made our way down to the last fence. Within a matter of minutes, flashlights and yelling. We were escorted out.

All the while, some fat ass security guard screaming, "Jump the last fence, I fucking dare you. I'd love to tackle you."
A power trip is simply that, I suppose.

We thought all hope was lost.
Defeated, we resigned ourselves to watching the show from outside.

We decided to camp out on top of a box truck at the 3rd fence out, sitting with a group of people watching the stage. Friendly people overall.

Then, a group of around a hundred individuals fucking bum-rushed a gate.
It was awesome.

We jumped off of the truck, and ran in. Paying eighty dollars for outside lands? No thanks.
We got into that shit for free.

Fuck yeah.
Time to try again tonight.

Overall, great success.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

I came across a man. The top part of him was in a trashcan. He was clearly looking for something.

As I walked by, he slowly pulled himself out of said garbage receptacle, and slowly looked at me.
Grinning, he yelled, "Gotta find them water pistols!"
He then submerged himself in the trash can again, clearly continuing his search for the ever elusive garbage can water pistol.

It was amazing.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Adjusting

I have begun to use a skateboard and bus as transportation, as it is incredibly easy to get around here.
Spending less time than usual in a vehicle of my own, I've begun to come across all of the wonders of San Francisco.

For example; I was on the bus the other day. As this eighty-something-year-old woman was exiting the bus, she began to vomit. I have never seen so much vomit come out of a single person, with such velocity and vigor, in my life. She has outdone my projectile vomiting career in every sense.

The noise itself was spectacular. A sound of absolute bestial war-lust exiting the body.

It was fantastic.

Shortly after, I saw an elderly man wearing huge glasses dragging an enormous television across the street. He had a hunchback. Yet again, fantastic. He looked absolutely insane.

I like it here so far.