I find

that the amount of times I refer to 'the tiger' at work is ever increasing.
I take orders with the tiger. The tiger holds my pen. I tell people that I wish I was the tiger. Not simply 'a' tiger, but 'the' tiger. The little plastic tiger on the counter at work.

There he is. Fear him, and give him your two dollars for a large cup of coffee.
He is a great subject of conversation, as he is always there, but never listening. He is made of plastic, so it is incredibly hard for him to do so.
He never gets offended, but he always takes people's money. He always holds the pen for me.

The tiger is my friend.